Marcia, Marcia, Marcia…

I love me a good horror film.. I love me a good BAD horror film.  And I love me some Marcia Brady.  Whoever approached Maureen McCormick’s agent and said “Hey, we want Mo to read the horny cop role in this sendup of horror films,” deserves a raise.  Mo’s agent deserves a bigger one for actually giving her the script to read. And Maureen McCormick deserves the biggest kudos of them all – for saying “fuck it” and going for broke in her performance.

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Marcia, Marcia Marcia… no way in HELL Eve Plumb could have pulled off this role.  Susan Olsen?  Maybe if she had been a bit more daring in her youth she could have avoided getting fired from her radio gig a couple months back.  The only comparable risk taker from your bunch would have to be Mama Brady herself (God rest her soul) in this creepy AF parody of Basic Instinct.

The Plot – Murder happens years ago at local high school. Filmmakers arrive with crew to shoot a horror film based on the killings at the high school. Oops – guess they opened a can of worms –  someone is killing the actors, writers, and crew!  Featuring Alex Rocco (The Entity), Maureen McCormick and a youthful George Clooney (!!) as an actor playing a cop.

The movie opens with the police showing up to investigate the murders and to talk to the lone survivor of the massacre.  We find out what happens to everyone through gory flashbacks featuring bad dialogue, lots of blood and sexual innuendo.  What more could you ask from a horror film?  The writers did a great job of parodying these films and their predictable plot devices, all while “commenting” on the horror films they are skewering – Marcia Brady eating a hot dog after openly flirting with her superior?  Yeah, there’s no hidden meaning there… (wink, grin).

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If you have a couple hours to “kill” – HA – sit back and enjoy this spoof of horror films from 1986 – Return to Horror High.

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